When I was younger and needed to blow off some steam I used to write notes "to the world". They would be filled with petty frustrations over ex-boyfriends or small fights with people who were close to me and after I had furiously scribbled on paper until the pen ripped through I would quickly tear up the paper so that nobody could read what was on my mind.
Well today I've learned something that I need to send out "to the world". Over the last week I have learned three very important lessons that I think everyone should know but nobody spends time talking about. So here it goes:
1- People care about other people. When I moved here I was scared to death about leaving my family and friends. I never thought that I would feel at home in a foreign country surrounded by complete strangers, especially since I was moving to Europe! I didn't think anyone would talk to me outside of church meetings and I definitely didn't think that people would ever go out of their way to help me. But they did. Why? Because people care about other people. I realized that when Lisa, a woman who had met me once at church, drove me to IKEA to help me buy things for our apartment. I realized that when Kelly, an au pair here, hugged me when she first met me because Ben had told her I was coming. I realized that when Regina, an African ambassador, constantly thanked me for helping her with math even though I was only doing it to make a friend. I realized that when Maureen, an American mom I met on a tram, took me under her wing because she knew what it was like to move here with a small child and she wanted to help me like Ellie (her Maureen) had helped her. These people have become my dearest friends because they saw a perfect stranger and helped them simply because they were good people.
Incredibly enough I realized it even more today with Nicki, a person I have never physically met who loaded her car with a dresser and kitchen materials, drove to my front door, and unloaded her car while illegally parked in the POURING rain just to help a fellow American. I will never forget the kindness shown to me by this woman. She was just selling stuff in preparation for her move back into the states and she heard that I was looking for homey items. After talking once she sent me e-mails about American clubs and groups I could join as well as information about Brussels I should know. She assured me that it wasn't always so rainy and encouraged me to enjoy this time. Without even knowing me she wanted to make sure that I felt at home in this new foreign country. And more amazing still was her friend Ilona who I have still never even spoken to or contacted in anyway. This woman gathered up an assortment of various kitchen items and toys because Nicki had mentioned to her that I was looking for those types of items. Two complete strangers helped me today. Why? Because people care about other people.
I see it when I'm on the tram and someone gives up their seat for the woman with the baby. I see it when I'm at the grocery store and people offer me their spot in line because Brooklyn's done shopping. I see it when the escalator is broken and a young woman offers to help me carry the stroller up two flights of stairs in the metro station. Most importantly I see it when I look at my dear family and friends who taught me and still teach me how important it is to love and care for others. People care about other people.
2-Your dreams don't need to change just because your life has. This last week I was blessed to visit Vienna, Austria. Now anyone who has known me for a while knows that I have dreamed of going to Vienna since I was 16 years old. It's the musical capitol of the world which is pretty enticing for a music nerd like myself. So when Ben and I booked a trip to Vienna I was out-of-my-skin excited. I practiced my violin 2 hours a day so I could play on a random street corner in Vienna. I looked at the opera schedule to see if there was a show I would want to see and I booked our trip so we could see the Vienna Philharmonic perform their annual Schoenbrunn Palace concert. I had everything set up perfectly and in my mind I pictured this perfect, artistic, romantic Viennese vacation.
So we packed our bags and our baby girl and headed to Vienna and for the next four days we...listened to our baby girl cry day in and day out. You see our daughter had four new teeth coming in and has never been a silent sufferer. We tried everything to calm her down, we stayed in the hotel, we went on walks, we took her to a museum where she could run around, we took her to the zoo and still she was an unhappy baby. And to top off the madness, the night of the free, outdoor, Vienna Philharmonic (ranked one of the top 3 orchestra's in the whole world) she threw up all over us. Needless to say the trip was less than ideal.
On the way back Ben and I were shot, we had had it. We both vowed never to have another kid. We both vowed that we never would take Brooklyn anywhere ever again. We felt like failures as parents and we both felt like the whole trip had been a waste. I was crushed.
It took me two days to recover from Vienna, Brooklyn, and all the crying. After two days, I began to realized that, even though the trip was ideal, I had still lived out my dream. I got to see "The Marriage of Fiagaro" performed live in the Vienna State Opera House. I got to play my violin in the same city where Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, and Strauss composed their masterpieces. I got to see the Vienna Philharmonic perform LIVE, an orchestra filled with players on a higher level than any players I ever seen in my life. It was incredible! It was inspiring! It filled me with new dreams and hopes for my musical future because I got to see such talent. It filled me with new passion and perspective because I played from my soul in Vienna and want to go back and do it again. It filled me with memories of my sweet family trying so hard to enjoy and love something that I have always had a passion for. My dream wasn't ruined because my baby girl had a hard couple of days. Sure it distracted from the moment but it didn't change reality and in reality I did play my violin in Vienna, and I did see a Mozart Masterpiece performed there, and I watched mere musicians transcend above all others and play at a level I never imagined possible. My life has changed in the last 9 years but that didn't stop me from living my dreams.
3-There's nothing more important in this life than family. The Sunday after we got back from Vienna was Regional Conference (in the LDS church regional conference is a gathering of multiple congregations who live in the same part of the world). Ben and I were both still fried from the trip but had promised some friends that we would do lunch after conference so we got ourselves to conference. I'd love to say that our baby girl was an angel but she was only happy if she was free to run around the back of the room while the conference was broadcast to the congregation. Feeling like my Ben needed more of a break from her than I did I offered to watch her during the conference, (also I felt that I could better multitask so I would still learn what I needed to). There were four speakers at this conference and though each had multiple messages in their individual addresses the one that stuck out most to me was the importance of raising children.
At first I just scoffed when I heard a speaker mention raising children because we had just had a terrible week in which we vowed never again to raise a child after Brooklyn but then as the messages continued I was filled with a peace in knowing that raising my little girl is the most important goal I can accomplish. My heart was on fire as the other talks all emphasized the importance of raising children in a loving, nurturing environment. They talked about how our children are the future of this world so we need to teach them how to care for others, care for themselves, and lead happy and productive lives. They talked about how important each child is in the eyes of their parents and God. They talked about how each child is filled with an innocent spirit that needs nurturing guidance in a world that is falling apart. And through each talk my heart just grew and grew in love for my little girl. I realized that she and my dear husband mean the world to me. I realized that as long as I am with them I am home. It doesn't matter where we live or how far we are from the people we know and love as long as we have each other that is where our home is.
Life can get busy, life can get crazy, life can get sad but what it all boils down to is how happy we are in our homes. Our families see us through the tough times and enjoy the good times with us. When we become parents we get to lead our kids through the tough times and enjoy the good times with them. No matter what our past was, when we have kids they are what matters. Their needs, their wants, their happiness are our needs, wants, and happiness. We can work all day in an office for years and nobody would know it but if we skipped out on being a parent for one day our kids would know it in an instant. Personal goals are important and necessary because you will always be the person you are. Careers are important because they provide a means to an end. But the most important thing in this life is our family.
My baby girl needs me to be the best mom I can be and I'm going to be the best because she deserves it. My parents gave me their best and now it's my turn to do the same. This world needs to know that family is the most important thing in this life. Get married! Start a family! Love them with all your hearts! It will be the hardest thing you'll ever do but in the end nothing else will reward you more than seeing the sweet loving look in your child's eyes as you hold them tight. No money, no award, no title will ever give greater joy than having a child who loves you. I see that joy in the faces of all of my friends and all of the moms I have met here. We don't come from the same place, we don't go to the same church, and we don't have the same opinions about the world but we all love our children with all our hearts and we all acknowledge that being a mom is the greatest (and most difficult) job in the world. Our families are the most important things in our lives.
That's what I have to say world. People care about other people, your dreams don't have to change just because your life did, and family is the most important thing in this life. Thank you to all my dear friends who have taught me these lessons and thank you for my dear family who loves me and teaches me daily especially my two redheads. I love you all and hope that I can repay you for all the love and support you give me!
Andi
