Mothers Day

Two years ago I celebrated my first mother day as a mother and honestly it was probably one of the worst days of my life. Brooklyn was two or three weeks old and so I was over the initial "Oh Yay I'm a mom" energy and into the "What in the #%@& (please insert pg-rated swear word here) was I thinking" burn out. I remember waking up around six o'clock mothers day morning to Brooklyn crying, Ben snoring, and motherly chest pain :). While Brooklyn nursed me to tears I just sat there cursing in my mind. "Happy bleeping Mothers Day" I repetitively swore to myself as I winced and glared with pain and anger. I questioned all my life decisions, I cursed my husband and child, I even began to grind my teeth (a habit that has continued since when I become angry). This wasn't the beautiful Hallmark Mothers Day I had hoped for where my husband woke me with breakfast in bed and my child cuddled up next to me. I didn't feel like those super model Hallmark women who were gasping with surprise at the beautiful gifts her husband and children had gotten her. No I felt like every ounce of energy and emotion had been sucked out of my sore breasts and the only model I looked like were the ones holding numbers for the police officers. I was beyond tired, frustrated, and down right dead. The day dragged on and eventually ended with me in tears while trying to get my child to sleep at my mom's house while talking to my little brother in Portland. Not the ideal, not Hallmark, not even a good day just an average day in the life of a new mother. Ben treated me like a star as much as an exhausted new dad could and my parents helped as much as people who couldn't feed a newborn could but at the end of the day it was the most real Mothers Day I'll ever have. There were no cute moments or rays of sunshine there was just survival: a mode all first-time mothers know all too well. A mode that is unknown to non-mothers and instinctively suppressed by veteran mothers. Survival is the nitty-gritty key to young motherhood. It's the roughest stage where everything turns blurry, showering becomes a luxury, and sleep becomes a myth. Ironically most experienced mothers forget to mention when they hear you're pregnant either because they've forgotten (unlikely) or they just want to give you extra hope and energy for the days to come but mark my words, it happens. Sure after two years you'll laugh and blog about it but most importantly you'll realize that you're not alone. You aren't the only one who struggled, you're not the only one who hurt, you're not the only zombie out there. So if you're new to this whole mother thing, or you're experienced but just tired remember you're not alone, there other moms cursing under their breaths because they're exhausted and overworked. There's another mom out there crying in the grocery store because she ran out of fruit snack and her child is throwing a tantrum in aisle four. And take it from me there is definitely a mom out there trying to figure out who she really is because she worries that she's disappearing into motherhood. We all hurt, we all struggle, but we're not alone.
When you're done feeling down, tired, or frustrated take time to remember those moms in your life who have already struggled through survival mode. Remember your moms, grandmas, cousins, aunts, and friends who have helped you through your darkest hour and your hardest moments. Thanks them for all they've done for you, it'll make you feel better and it'll make your day.
For me I am the woman I am today because of my mother. She has stood by me every day of my life. She was my biggest fan and support in every activity I pursued. She took me to every soccer, volleyball, basketball, karate, dance, softball, and violin practice. She came to every game and concert. She walked and talked with me during the turbulent teenage years and always helped me solve my "boy" problems (till the day I got married :). She came to see me in Brussels and even drove 45 minutes last Sunday to watch my latest community orchestra performance. My mother is the greatest mother in this world and I love her dearly.
Thanks to my sister Melissa who has always been the example for me. She was always two years ahead of me with every life decision so by the time Brooklyn came along she was a veteran mother. The day after we left the hospital she drove three hours to help me settle in as a mom. She cooked for me, cleaned for me, forced me to take a nap, and hugged me when I cried because I was worried. Melissa was my closest friend growing up, we hardly fought and when we did it never lasted long. She's a great mother of three and is my go-to call when something new comes up with Brooklyn.
To Kristina, my crazy little sister. She's the most loving person in this world to a fault. She cares so deeply for others that she neglects herself sometimes. We definitely fought growing up but her heart is full of love for others.
To Maureen who taught me how to be a better mother. I was just a lost foreigner in Brussels when she took me in and helped me discover how a great mother fills her time. Her creative adventures, and daring playdates inspire me to be a better mom. She's showers her daughter with love daily and I only hope I shower Brooklyn with that much love.
To Nanon, my cousin and college "big sister" who helped me become truly independent. My first day up at college I danced and sang about my new independence with my roommate when Nanon called and invited me to lunch. We went to the Fiddlers Elbow and talked about how grown up my roommate and I were and how independent we were and then the check came. I pulled out my checkbook feeling so grown-up when the waitress informed me that they didn't accept checks. Whoops. Nanon was there when I got homesick and couldn't go home. She helped me keep a home in my heart.
And finally to my best friend Cassie who just had her second boy and is making it look so easy. Thanks for keeping our friendship strong, thanks for making sure we get together at least once a month to catch up even if it means dragging your two boys up to Sandy. You are a great friend and I'm lucky to have you.
For lack of time a quick thanks to Lou for being my comic relief, Leslie for teaching me the wrap, and Chelsey for sending me loving messages when I need them. Thanks to Jan for raising such a wonderful man whom I had the privilege to marry. Thanks Celes for making me run and Mandi for letting me rant to you. Also thanks to Courtney, Alli, Robyn, and Amber for being such great sisters. I really love talking to all of you so much and wish the best for all of you. Thanks to my Grandma Schofield for giving Ben and I a place to sleep whenever we are down south. Thanks to my wonderful spouse who probably did make me breakfast in bed that first mothers day even if I can't remember and has supported me ever since. And of course thanks to my sweet Brooklyn who continuously teaches me love, patience, patience, patience, laughter, and love. I love you my sweet angel. I love you all and wish you a very Happy Mothers Day!

Let Yourself Cheer!

Ok, not going to lie moving home has not been the picnic that I thought it would be. I thought I would feel right at home right away. I thought that once we moved into the apartment and got a car we could just relax, chill with our families, and get right back into the swing of things.

Boy was I WRONG!

It's been an absolute mess! We got moved into the apartment with the help of Luke, Mike, El Padre, Mama, and Teenie (honorable mention to the Coats and Jones families who helped with bags and unpacking) and after that everything seemed to get more and more stressful. We needed to go to the store for this and then once we stepped foot back into our apartment we remembered that we needed to buy that which meant that we needed to spend more money and time trying to get ourselves settled. We bought a great car (thanks Jeff!) but the process was a little more complicated than expected and taking out a loan for a car is always a little painful especially when you've just moved home and you already feel like your money is draining faster than you can control and then top that all off with the emotional stress that comes from feeling ten steps behind and lost in your own life. It's just been a whirlwind of emotion, stress, and fatigue. Our dear families have been helping as much as they can by babysitting Brooklyn overnight so Ben and I can have a date (thanks Mama and Padre), booking us a two night getaway into the mountains for some fresh air and relaxation (thanks Dan and Jan), and driving 35 minutes just so Brooklyn can play with her cousins (thanks Melba) but we're still just trying to get our feet on the ground.

So, after celebrating pi day with Ben, Brooklyn, and some pizza (thanks Dominoes) Ben and I just sat and let ourselves be washed over by the television. At first we just watched sitcoms and mindlessly laughed at some stupid show or another but then my remote led us to the Utah vs Cal basketball game. Now I'm not much of a basketball fan, I'm more of a football girl myself, but when March rolls around I definitely get caught up in some of the madness which is the word I would use to describe the game tonight.
According to the announcers, Cal is one of the top teams in the country and, according to the little number in front of their name, Utah is the 10th ranked team in the PAC 12 (for those who don't know that the 10th worst of 12 teams in a conference). So tonight was supposed to be an easy win for Cal. Long story short, I tuned in halfway through the second half and watched as Utah climbed their way up the scoreboard to get within striking distance of Cal. Then I watched as an "at the buzzer" three point shot by a Ute sent the game into overtime. By the last minute of overtime I was cheering as the Utes defeated Cal 79-69. I was so happy and caught up in the game that I called my little bro (also a football fan) to tell him the results of the game. I called my parents when the game went into overtime because it was such a great game that I just wanted everyone I know to cheer alongside me (figuratively of course). I even tried to get a hold of my brother-in-law Jacob (the only real basketball fan I know)so I could tell him about the game. It was just so exciting to hope and cheer for something that I couldn't control.

Why do I tell this story: Because it has been a rough couple of weeks in the Isaac home. Moving, packing, buying, selling, juggling, running, working and starting over just take a toll on your spirits and tonight I learned that sometimes you just need to forget about the troubles your facing and cheer. Get excited about something that you can't control. Watch a game, pick a team and hold your breath while they duke it out with their opponents because win or lose it won't really matter to you in the end. What will matter is that heart-pounding, breath-holding feeling that you experience as you forget about your problems and lose yourself in a game. Your problems won't disappear during the game but, at least for a moment, you'll forget about your problems. So find something that you can get excited about people. Find something you can't control and lose yourself in it for a while. Let yourself cheer!

Brussels Highlights

Salt Lake City we are prepared to initiate launch sequence. 10...Days left in Brussels! It's crazy! I can't believe that it's already time to start packing up to leave. Unbelievable. 

Living here has definitely changed my life. From things as simple to eating more fruits and veggies to understanding the significance and importance of being a mother. We've made INCREDIBLE friends who have been there through the thick of the terrible Brussels weather and we have grown so close as a family. We've also grown a ton too! Our little Brussels Sprout has gone from crawl-lessness to a walking tornado of destruction. Ben has done some incredible research and I have turned into quite the amazing mother. Brussels will always mean a lot to us and be our first home as a family. 

Since our time here is drawing to a close I decided to do a little Brussels highlights blog. Tons of pictures that show our families exciting adventures and some highlights of our time in Belgium. So sit back and enjoy our little collage of Brussels.

As most of you know Ben had to move here before us and spent two months living in Europe alone. He did what most husbands would do, grew out a beard, ate things like mashed potato sandwiches, and stayed up late watching ever war movie known to man. But he did have his own adventure in Durham England (pictured above) when he spent two weeks working with a professor there.

After two lonely months we were reunited once again and Brooklyn was once again spoiled by two parents (though the grandparents back home spoiled her pretty good). Brooklyn was only six months old and was still learning to crawl and move around on her own. Here's the first video we took of her in Brussels.

Luckily for me Ben was a social highlight at church so when Brooklyn and I arrived he already had a posse lined up for us! We were able to spend our holidays with some great people like Flint, Chris and Betsy, Brian, and Kelly. If that weren't cool enough there was this cool sister missionary, Sister Murray, who happened to be one of my best friends since 6th grade. It was great to come and instantly be surrounded by wonderful people during the holidays.

Once we were settled in I was ready to travel and so was our little sprout.We started small by going to places in Belgium like Bruges and the Atomium. But once family came to visit we branched out much further.

The Dam Square: Amsterdam

Ben fist-bumping a statue at the British Museum.

Big Ben: London

Chillin with the Coats in Fussen Germany: Home of the Neuschwanstein Caslte. 

Fussen Germany

Among all the fun Brooklyn was growing and began attempting to walk. Though the Coats encouraged her during their visit with us she waited until just after they had left to take her first steps. 

After that we just tried to keep up with her all summer! From the water fountains in Flagey (a square near our home), to chasing her around Austria and Italy.

Brooklyn chasing Bruno (Kelly's Au Pair Family)

Kelly and I enjoying the warmth!

Clara, Bruno, and Brooklyn. The whole gang!

Ben at this amazing park we found one summer's day.

Brooklyn attacking the sandcastles in Blenkenberge

The Amazing Maureen and Autumn Henson (Our distinguished best friends :) 

The Mozart Statue: Vienna

The Vienna Philharmonic

One of my favorite memories in Brussels itself was when Ben and I rented bikes for the day. We rode from downtown Brussels out to the forest. We enjoyed a nice three hour ride and the pizza from Pizza Hut afterwards. It was a great afternoon.

Brooklyn enjoying some time out of her bike seat!

The Flower Carpet: Brussels

The Leaning Tower of Pisa

Swimming in the Cinque Terre: Italy

Florence (we went on a Monday so most tourist attractions were closed,
including the infamous David statue). 

Pisa was probably one of our favorite trips while here. It was beautiful, warm (well roasting), and relaxing. Unfortunately it was little more expensive than we expected so we had to hold off traveling until more guests arrived. 

Brooklyn and her Uncle Mike
(one of her favorite words to say)

 That didn't take too long :). My parents came out to see us in September. It was so great to have them visit us. We jumped right in to traveling and hit Budapest, Hungary the day after their arrival. Unfortunately I didn't bring my camera so I don't have pictures from there but trust me, it was amazing.

Point du Hoc: Normandy, France 

After a week of recovery and some Belgium exploring we hit up Normandy and Rhine Valley Germany. It was a great trip!

Dinant, Belgium. An awesome city and great daytrip with my Mom, Dad, and Bro! 

A few short days later my wonderful cousin Nanon came out for a visit and my European adventures continued with a road trip through Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, and France. Also it included a much needed visit to the LDS Temple in Hague, Netherlands.

The Hague Temple: Netherlands

Beaufort Castle: Luxembourg 

 One of my favorite moments with Nanon was at the Schoenfels Castle in Luxembourg. Brooklyn loves riding the little rocker horses at parks and usually I sing the "William Tell Overture" while she rides. Well I waited too long to sing it this time because she just started without me.

After Nanon's visit we decided to cool the jets on traveling and to really enjoy the holiday season. Thanks to Maureen we were able to see some cool things, like Santa arriving by ferry with his helpers "Black Pete" and the ice sculpture festival in Bruges. She also recommended Ghent so when we needed to clear our heads after losing my Grandpa we headed there.

Yes, They were scary.

Santa Claus definitely looks more like
St. Nicholas in Belgium :)

Our little Christmas

I've said it before but this was seriously
the COOLEST thing I've seen in Belgium

Gravensteen Castle: Ghent, Belgium

Ghent: Belgium

Our final adventure, courtesy of Maureen and Jacob, was to Rome. We decided that since we had an IOU on babysitting and found cheap tickets to Rome that we couldn't pass it up. It was a great 24 hours!

St. Peter's Square: Rome, Italy

The Colosseum: Rome, Italy

And now here we are. About to leave. We're trying to keep our last days interesting by enjoying various activities like blowing bubbles with Brooklyn or having a water fight with Ben but we're just trying to savor these last few days in our little Isaac home. 

Oh did I mention that Brooklyn now loves computers

Am I the only one who finds it cheating to throw
your opponent into the bathtub with your bathing
child during a water fight?

A Glimpse of Rome

Rome may not have been built in a day but it definitely made a really exciting one! Ben and I thought we had handed in the traveling towel until we found a 50 euro round trip to Rome. And better yet our wonderful friends Maureen and Jacob were willing to watch Brooklyn for the weekend. Thanks guys! You know it was a needed break from your child when both you and your husband sleep for the entire shuttle ride to the airport and the whole plane ride to Rome. Parents get tired too :)

We only had twenty-four hours in Rome so we made sure to take advantage of every minute possible. After checking into our hotel we went out immediately and ate pasta and pizza, of course! Next we took a night stroll along the St. Peter's Square, Saint Angelo's Castle, The Four Rivers Fountain, and The Pantheon. It was beautiful, peaceful, and incredible but we eventually had to go back to the hotel. So we started back, or so we thought...

We headed down one street thinking it would be a shortcut but it turned out to be the wrong direction. We started to get a little frustrated as we wandered around Argentina Street but then we noticed some old ruins. Well it turns out that those ruins were the remain of the place where Julius Caesar was assassinated. Where else could you run into such exciting things and follow it up with delicious gelato? No wonder everybody loves Rome!

St. Peter's Square during (sorry no camera on the night walk)

After wandering back to our hotel and sleeping off the plane ride and slight directional mishap we started off the next morning with the Vatican Museum...Wow. And again. Wow. Their collection of art is incredible. Like any other tourist I was just using the Vatican Museum to get to the Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel but my favorite painting was actually Raphael's "School of Athens". Unfortunately, I was so excited to see the Sistine Chapel that we had to back track to find the "School of Athens" (note to self: DON'T DO THAT!) but the 30 minute detour was well worth it! It's probably my favorite painting that I've seen in Europe. 

Followed by my favorite church I've seen in Europe St. Peter's Basilica! Dang those Roman's know how to decorate a church! Like most American's my knowledge of the Basilica stems from the movie "Angels and Demons". It turns out that the copy of the basilica they created for the movie was a pathetic excuse for a copy. It also turns out that Ben loves running around St. Peter's Square saying Illuminati! Ben had way too much fun referring to that movie!

The Bernini Alter

St. Peter's Square

Cool Clock on the Basilica

The crowning jewel of the visit though was the Colosseum. When we first arrived at the Colosseum we were starving so we hit a pizza joint right next to the site. I had already decided that I would order a Margarita Pizza (just sauce and cheese) because I had seen an Italian eat one yesterday with after adding some pepper flakes and olive oil and it looked incredible. So Ben made sure I ordered that (I have a terrible habit of changing my mind at a restaurant last minute and ordering the most disgusting food on the menu). 

Super cheesy smile!

Ben waiting for his favorite food, Pizza

The Colosseum was just as amazing as I thought it would be. The outside was way more beat up than I thought it would be but the building itself was so much bigger than I imagined. It's gigantic and the inside is just unbelievable. The stage, the seats, the arena it's incredible that a civilization built that almost two thousand years ago.

Rome was incredible. By the end we were so exhausted that we slept on the shuttle ride to the airport, tried sleeping on the plane (lousy drunk Germans behind us...sooooo loud), and slept the entire shuttle ride home which turned out to be much needed since we had to walk the rest of the way home in the snow. Thanks to Maureen and Jacob for giving us the weekend to ourselves. It was a great last European trip!